**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
