I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
