so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
