Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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