she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
