Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
