she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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