Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
