I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
