call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
