You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Never underestimate the power of titties
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
