So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
