I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
