Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
