she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
