At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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