i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
