it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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