we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
