I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
