there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
