They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
