I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want nice things and good sex
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
