I want to stick my p in your. b.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's rum buckets o'clock
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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