I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
