I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
