Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
