dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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