NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
