Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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