no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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