Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
