What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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