I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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