just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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