O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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