are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
it glows. i had to have it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
