she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
a search helicopter?!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
