**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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