Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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