Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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