I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
