Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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