god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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