How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
