nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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