I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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