I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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