she told me i tasted like america
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
