I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
